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Sgt Frog Abridged - Episode 2 (script)
The following is unedited from the original document except for formatting. Lines may have been rewritten during recording and/or editing. Script Aki: And that’s what a period really is. Natsumi: *Shocked* Oh my god Mom, we didn’t ask… Fuyuki: *Shocked sounds* Aki: *Quickly* Glad you understand. Now, what are we going to do with the frog... Natsumi: *Irritated* We can hit him with your motorcycle. Aki: I was thinking a room. Natsumi: *Irritated* I like my idea better. Fuyuki: You mean he gets to stay? Natsumi: *Shocked* Mom, did you forget what happened today already? Aki: Hey, you were asking for it. Natsumi: What-?! Aki: I love you too! Keroro: Ahh, reminds me of something my dad told me. *Turns dark, whispers* Natsumi’s a whore... *Natsumi kicks Keroro into the wall* Natsumi: *Annoyed and deadpan* There. I made him a room. Keroro: *Muffled* Could you also bring me my luggage...? *Aki opens trapdoor* Aki: *Calling out* Is anyone dead down there?! *Cheeky* Just kidding. I got some weirdo in glasses to clear the ghost out. Fuyuki: ...Harold Ramis? Aki: *Quickly* I dunno. It was some guy from Florida. Come on down! *Turns on light* Aki: *Sweetly* And here’s your room, Keroro. Keroro: *In Spanish* Finally! You got me a choo-choo! *English* What the fuck... Aki: *Giddy* Don’t you love it? It’s a heaven of splinters and asbestos! It’s just like an apartment. You even have a roommate! *Calls out* Hi honey! Haru: *Muffled* LOVE YOU BABYYYY! Keroro: I don’t even have a bed, but I love it! Natsumi: *Deadpan* Today sucks. I need a lie-down. *Crash* Aki: *Sweet* Alrighty! You fix it up how you want. *Lower* Natsumi, what is wrong with you? Keroro: *Singing through gritted teeth* I GOT A ROOOOOM. I GOT A- oh, Fuyuki! Fuyuki: Hmm? *Close-up* Keroro: *Deadpan* Gimme fifty bucks. I’m robbing you. *Cuts to shot of ladder* Keroro: Fuyuki! I need help! Fuyuki: Coming, Sarge! *Crash* *Shows room* Keroro: There you are. Can you get me a weirdly shaped fruit and a straw? Fuyuki, Natsumi, Aki: Mine? *Pans around the room* Fuyuki: Where did you get all this stuff? Natsumi: *Shocked* How did you even clean this place? Aki: *Worried* ...What happened to my husband...? *Keroro sits in silence, cuts to outside school* Narrator: The next day at school. Hi! I’m the narrator! *Cuts to Fuyuki in class* Fuyuki: Hi, I’m Fuyuki. My hobbies include cartwheeling, sewing, and riding my bike into a tree. Llllladies? *Turns around, class is empty* Fuyuki: Yeah, that went how I expected. *Turns and looks out window* What happened to my game. Sarge! Where do I get game?! Keroro: *Dazed singing* You can’t make a candle outta hopes and dreams. Fuyuki: *Singing* They both go together like coffee and cream. Thanks Sarge! ...Sarge?! *Cuts to Momoka peering in* Momoka: *Dreamy* There’s the man of my dreams. Alone in a classroom. Singing to a window. *Whisper*...ssso-fiiiine... Fuyuki: *Running out* Don’t tell me you burnt down the house! Momoka: Oh god he’s coming! Quickly! Think of something alluring to do! *POW* Momoka: I did it! I’m on top! *Out loud, nervous* Sorry Fuyuki, I should have looked where I was going- Fuyuki: Wait! I know how to handle this! You should take this alien badge, cause your looks are out of this world. Aaaaaaaahhh. Momoka: *Lovestruck sighing* Haaaaaahhh... Fuyuki: Hope that worked! Later, Momoka! Momoka: Wait! *Starts slow, gets faster and less coherent* I just wanted to ask- I just wanted to say- you know about you, if you, would you like to, um, yeah. Potato- design. Wind. Rocking chairs! Canyons! I want a b-bike for my birth-b-b-beddidy-beddidy-boppity-bop-BOPBITTYBOP!! Fuyuki: I think you were flat. Momoka: STATUE!!! *Runs away* Fuyuki: What was that...? Snake: Sounds like Stockholm Syndrome to me! *Cut to Momoka kneeling on ground* Momoka: *Muffled sobbing* Damnit! Middle School’s so important! These problems matter! Tamama: *Muffled* Need air! NEED AIR! *GASP* *Tamama jumps out of bag* Tamama: *Slowly wanders off* Whoo, man! I’ve been cooped up in there too long. I need to make some room for Sarge! Of course that’s not gonna last very long; not if my mom is right. Momoka: RrrrRRRR GET BACK HERE!!! Tamama: Whoa, that’s some reach... Momoka: *Softly* I only have myself to blame for this, *getting louder* but sometimes a girl’s just gotta LET IT OUT! Tamama: I have that same problem. Momoka: How about you make like a tree and-!!! *POW* Tamama: Walk it off. Natsumi: *Bossy* Alright. Who took all the balls? Mrs PMS: YOU DON’T HAVE ANY! BUT YOU STILL PASS! Keroro: Went back home and my momma said... Fuyuki: Hey, Sarge! Keroro: *Jumps up, screaming* I HATE BROKEN SIDEWALKS! Oh hey Fuyuki. *Occasional whacks and Tamama can be heard in the distance* Fuyuki: What are you doing at my school? Keroro: Finding my ass- er, privates. Private. *Whacks and Tamama are clearer* Keroro: Boyfriend. Momoka: MAKE LIKE A- ow. LIKE A TREE AND-ow. MAKE A TREE OUT OF-ow. Keroro: *Gasp* Nobody pounds on my fagmuffin but me! Fuyuki: ...She’s not. Keroro: I’ll save you hun!!! Momoka: This is the last ball. MAKE LIKE A- *KONK, CRASH* Keroro: Or not, I’m cool with that. Tamama: Sarge...you came! Keroro: *In Spanish, romantic* Three times already, my love! *Close-up* I’m gay. The end. *Smooth* Fuyuki I’d like to introduce you to my alcoholic beverage of choice...looove. Tamama: I’m a pretty princess! Fuyuki: Guys? Girl? Concussion? Keroro and Tamama: Walk it off. Tamama: And we’re not speaking until trees start dying. YYYEAAAAH. Narrator: Back at the Hinata house. Keroro: *In Spanish* I FUCKING LOVE CLEANING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! *Wall lights on fire* *Stare* Tamama: Quatro? Keroro: Agachese! *Credits* *Post-Credits 1- Natsumi pondering in gym class* Mrs. PMS: YOU SEE THAT, FAILURES OF TOMORROW? THAT’S WHAT THINKING LOOKS LIKE! I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT THAT...BUT YOU WON’T. *Post-Credits 2- blank* Keroro: Oh boy I’m gonna brush-brush my toothbrush! *Explosion* Keroro: NOOOOO MY TOOTHBRUSH. … Keroro: No problem Fuyuki! ...The fuck? Category:Episode Scripts